Jun 26, 2015 | By: A Woman

The puzzle of motivation - Day 514


I Was watching the other day the TED talks video - The puzzle of motivation with Dan Pink talking about the difference between how social science see that businesses can work in its utmost potential and how business managers vision and application is done in today's business world.


In a nutshell, Dan Pink explained that the more incentives the employees get, the less productive they are based on social studies that were conducted in several places in the world. They have found that when big incentives are offered to employees, the creativity of the employees is narrowing down and only focused on achieving the goal they were supposed to do while there is no expansion of their vision, skills, and productivity.


Then I looked at my own experience in my corporations days and found the exact same thing that social science measurably proven. The less incentives I received, the more productive and creative I have become. The bigger the incentives were, the more tasks oriented I was without giving myself the gift of self-expansion and creativity within my work place.


When I started the corporative world, I was given minimal task (telephone marketing) with big incentives  which was supposed to motivate me to bring the results the company aimed for. That was my one and only focus, to do the task as best as I can so that I can make more sales and make more money but I was board at work and besides the money incentives, there was no expansion and growth in terms of career path. The monotonic work was not for me - I decided to quit due to lack of interest, creativity, empowerment in the job that I was doing - it didn't fit with my personality profile and I felt caged in a box without the ability to grow. Fortunately, a new manager came on board just a few days before I quit and he spotted the spark that was still left in me of wanting to do more with my life. I moved on to another company and this manager got in touch with me, trying to convince me to work for him in another department where I am able to express the skills that I have. For years I refused to work for him because of other things that I was more interested doing so we instead just developed friendship relationship that we nurtured over the years. About 6 years after, I decided I wanted to go back to the corporation world and spend 1 year to make a lot of money, close the debt that I had and moved on with my life. I called him, told him I am looking for 1 year job and the next day, I started working for him.


He gave me tools to work with, he stood as an excellent support structure, taught me almost everything that I know today about marketing and sales as he himself is a master in sales. There was one thing he didn't do - he didn't micro manage me but instead pushed me to develop my self-empowerment within what I do. He challenged my creativity, showed me by example how to look outside of the box, he did in-field training with me through which I could develop more marketing and sales skills. He invested so much time in me despite  knowing that I will be leaving at the end of the year. I haven't seen many people in the corporative world who invest so much in another's personal development as he did.


In terms of incentives - the monetary incentives where initially not high meaning. I thought it was because I will be leaving at the end of the year and there was no point for him to offer me bigger monetary incentives. What I didn't realize was that the ability to create, be creative and expand my skills was the incentive I needed to make more money than anyone else in that company during that year. The incentives that he gave me was work/life balance and being in charge of my own reality whereas I could come to work when I wanted to; I could work from home; I could take vacations when I saw fit; I worked normally 4 hours less than the accepted working hours and yet, I was more productive than any other employee that he had before.


At the end of the year, in my farewell party, I asked him "I know we are friends and everything but I was also your employee who always did what I wanted to do and not so much what you had planned for me to do. How did you managed to work with someone like me?". His answer surprised us both and with Dan Pink explanations it does now make sense. His answer to my question was - "if I had to micro manage you and take away from you your ability to be creative, you would be gone after a month. I knew that if I want you to stay here for the whole year, I must give you the freedom to do what you want and I had trust that you will surprise both you and I in the money that you will make for the company. Now have a look - you are leaving us with by far more than what your job title was about - you developed systems through which we all can make more money now and that was something you never got paid for - you just did it because you enjoyed creating these systems for us". I never thought about it before he mentioned it - I did create a lot of structures for this company and never expected to be paid for it - I simply enjoyed doing it and there were no incentives offered for me to do it.


My two cents: if you are an employer who runs a business, I suggest looking into the point of empowering your people - inspire them to be creative, lead by example, be there as their support structure, listen to their creative ideas and allow them to test it for themselves even if you don't see it worthwhile - they may surprise you cause if you down motivate them, their creativity will shut down. Even for myself, I remember one day I came up with a new creative idea that my boss told me that it won't work and I insisted on testing it. He then decided to not go against me but to instead support me in the process despite of his opinion that the strategy I wanted to implement will not work. Couple of weeks down the line, it did work for us after all and since then he never said to anyone that something won't work, he supported his people to follow their creativity and see for themselves if their creative ideas work or doesn't work for them. The more you limit your people and shut their creativity down, the more dissatisfied employees you will have and the less chances your company grows to its utmost potential. Incentives are not just monetary incentives - the biggest incentive that one can have it so be able to be empowered and grow within what they do. The more they feel empowered, the more productive they will be as a point of satisfaction and fulfillment that is manifesting within themselves which will drive them to be the best that they can be, not so much for you and your company but for themselves.





Jun 20, 2015 | By: A Woman

World at War - Day 513

Refugees and migrants on a fishing boat pictured before making contact with the Italian navy. (Photo: Italian Coastguard/Massimo Sestini)

Refugees and migrants on a fishing boat pictured before making contact with the Italian navy. (Photo: Italian Coastguard/Massimo Sestini)




A recent report by the Office of the UN High Commissioner for Refugees (UNHCR) expose that out of every 122 people on the planet is a refugee, seeking asylum, or internally displaced. 1 out of 122 people in this planet. Imagine that.


Well you know what - stop imagining because it is real  -  this is the physical reality we live in.

While the majority of this world forced into a life of war, abuse and constant fear, us, the minority, we strive for personal success, for more money, better social status, better cars, housing and so forth. Seldom do we really consider other people; rarely we take a moment to critically thing about the current world situation and how each of us is individually responsible for the world we live in today.


You may ask yourself - "why am I responsible? I don't make the laws". Are you sure? Aren't we voting every couple of years for our president or prime minister? Are we actively walking any path to change the laws and the economic system? Do we really want to change the world or it is just a fantasy we keep on telling ourselves and others to make us feel and look good?


"Far too many of the world’s richest and most peaceful countries are ignoring their global responsibility to provide assistance and protection," said secretary general of the Norwegian Refugee Council Jan Egeland, in a press statement responding to the UN's findings. "They are hiding behind closed borders"


"For an age of unprecedented mass displacement," Guterres continued, "we need an unprecedented humanitarian response and a renewed global commitment to tolerance and protection for people fleeing conflict and persecution."


So another call for my fellow humans - changing the world system is not going to happen unless we all come together, stepping out of our convenient ignorance into practical action.


Please read my latest blog: Together we are not Alone - Day 512 so that we all take our power back to ourselves, stand together and take practical actions. Please investigate The Living Income Guaranteed Proposal and watch

Fundamental Human Rights by Equal Life Foundation.


Thank you.


Jun 15, 2015 | By: A Woman

Together we are not Alone–Day 512



The night before last was an immensely cold night and even though I had the heater on and a nice thick duvet, the cold got into my bones and my body was shaking from the inside, trying to get itself warm. When my body started shaking from the cold, I couldn't stop thinking about those people, just here down the road, who sleep with no heater on, no nice thick duvet or cement walls to isolate the rooms from the cold.


I started looking that night at how the hell can I personally support these people - obviously, I don't have the budget to buy all the people in this world an heater or a nice thick duvet or build decent housing; and even if I do have that money, how are they going to pay for the electricity for the purpose of turning the heater on for example? And I mean, having a heater is just one small thing - these people and so many more are facing a moment to moment survival in a world of abundance which to me is not acceptable way of living is it?


Honestly I felt sad - it is clear by now that on my individual capacity, I cannot make sure that all people in this world has decent and worthy housing, electricity, food, transport, education and so forth. It is clear that 10 people cannot make sure that all people in this world has a decent and dignified life as how we would all want for ourselves. It is clear that 100 people cannot help everyone on this world to have access to their basic human rights. It is clear that 1,000 people cannot make sure that this world will take a turn in implementing the necessary change that is required to maintain and sustain a life that is worthy of living. But, don't you think that 1,000,000 people that are coming together can be so powerful source in making sure what needs to be done is done? And how about 1,000,000,000 people standing together as a powerful unity?


What worth does it have if we all stand alone, wishing for a change or wishing that suffering will end one day if we don't practically do something about it - TOGETHER?


There are so many people in this world who would want to do something but in some way or another, most of us feel that we don't know what or how to practically do it. This is because we each try to invent the wheel while there is no real need to invent a new wheel as everything is already here and ready to be changed in the way that is best for all. All that is really needed is our understanding that together we are NOT alone in this vision and mission of creating a dignified life for all people and animals and when we pull our resources together, all our individual skills, our individual power, we will become one unified force that has the power to demand and implement a change in this world.


So this is a call for myself and others - to come together with our individual skills, forces and powers and to together implement encompassing solutions on all levels of life within the vision and mission of creating a life that is of worth for every creature on this planet.


Would like to take this floor to share the following:

The Equal Life Foundation – Bill of Rights

The Living Income Guaranteed Proposal

Fundamental Human Rights by Equal Life Foundation

May 15, 2015 | By: A Woman

Self-Empowerment - Practical Living - The Decision (Part 3) - Day 511

Continuing with:

Let’s first define what Self Empowerment is – It is the application of the realization that only I can empower myself within the decisions that I make and the directions that I give to myself in any given moment. it is one’s power to direct one’s reality, based on a decision that one is making in any given moment as a principle that one lives by.

If we look at the examples from the previous blog where an image activated a reaction in you - In that moment, you faced a decision - to either accept and allow yourself to disempower yourself and spiral in the realm of the mind or to decide to empower yourself and stand as a support structure for yourself in stopping and not accepting and allowing the reaction inside of you to direct you, which from there you can see clearly the direction that you can give to yourself.

So in the context of our personal and individual processes, we are making a decision in every given moment – whether it is conscious decision or unconscious decision BUT a decision is always made by us. Many times in my process I found myself in a momentary possession where it literally felt like a war zone inside of myself wherein one part of me can clearly see how and why I am compromising myself during each moment that I accept and allow the reaction to continue inside of myself and the other part of me wants to continue and justify the validity of the reaction and not let go its right to exists inside of me. In these moments, a decision must be made, to which part of me am I going to “listen” for a lack of better word – the one where I accept and allow myself to be disempowered by my own mind or the part that can and will take responsibility for what I have accepted and allowed within the self-trust that no matter what consequences I’ve already created, I stand and I will invest the time and effort to correct and align myself based on the principles that I decided to live by. Meaning, whether I will accept and allow the reaction to continue (self-disempowerment), or whether I will stop participating with the reaction and take responsibility (self empowerment) – I am the one that is making the decision for/as myself.

Here comes the tricky part – I often look at my life and I see limitations in being able to direct myself and/or create a reality that is best for myself and others. I used to see that as disempowerment being forced onto me but that is the mistake that I’ve made – physical limitations does not mean disempowerment as with any circumstances, we have the power to direct ourselves with the consideration of what is available here. We can decide to feel disempowered and give up OR we can decide to work with that which is here and still direct ourselves as what is best in any given moment.

For example, I can sit and cry the whole day about how difficult life  is or I can decide to do something about it. When I decide to do something about it, it doesn’t mean that I will be successful in my application or will see satisfactory results – but what is certain is that I will keep and find ways and/or align the direction until I become successful within the goals that I set forth for myself. An example, when I moved to SA, I refused to learn Afrikaans because I thought that I will not be successful in learning another language based on my school experiences so from the get go, I disempowered myself by believing my own mind that I’m not capable of learning a new language. Until one day, I made a decision to stop accepting and allowing my own self-disempowerment and to instead invest the time and effort to learn Afrikaans. Once I made the decision, learning Afrikaans became easy because I know that the amount of time and effort I will put into learning a new language, the faster I will see the results that I placed for myself as goals. The first step was to make the decision to empower myself and learn a new language and the second step is to continue making the decision every time I am exposed to a new word in Afrikaans that I want to integrate. Me making the decision to learn Afrikaans doesn’t mean that I will learn Afrikaans if I will not make a decision in any moment that I am exposed to learning Afrikaans if that make sense. This is where giving up is coming from, from us not understanding that it is not one singular decision to change and change is manifesting, it is a consistent decision to change in real time moment of facing the point in our reality and make a conscious decision to change.

So, at one stage you find yourself in a point where you say:  Enough is Enough. We find ourselves looping around the same pattern, knowing where the point will lead us, what consequences we will create if we continue participating in a specific pattern because we’ve already investigated and yet, nothing changed. That is because we haven’t really made the choice to change in real time moment and we allowed ONE singular thought to spiral inside of ourselves instead of just saying to ourselves – enough, I had enough of this now.

The bottom line is - for us to empower ourselves as a living expression of ourselves and really change - the power of making a decision/choice must be understood and applied. Will continue in the next blog post.

Apr 22, 2015 | By: A Woman

Self-Empowerment - Practical Living (Part 2) - Day 510

In my previous post I ended off with:


"In the next post we will move from being aware of the structural lines of information to practical living in how to assist and support ourselves to actually move from the mind reality that is limited to the layers of information we stored inside of ourselves into the physical reality where possibilities and opportunity of self-empowerment and change actually exists."


With the example in the previous post, we had a look at how one image of a luxurious car activated different lines of information and each line of information thereafter spiraled into further lines of information. This essentially means that we shifted away from the physical reality and moved into the realm of our minds, in isolation.

For myself, I found these quantum time shifts from the physical reality to be very disempowering because in these moments, I am not the directive principle of my own reality as I gave my power of direction away to one singular image (or it can be anything from sound to movement and so forth).


Disempowerment in the sense that - with activating these lines of information that we access to in a quantum moment, we prevent a direct physical seeing of reality for what it is, through which we are unable to effectively move to solutions but instead we remain in reactive state of being. (If you haven't already, I suggest reading: From Reaction to Prevention and the Correction Process - Day 239) where I described the 'WHY' remaining in a reactive state is counterproductive for yourselves and the people in your environment and how instead, we must assist and support ourselves to move into the solution in changing our living application to one that is of self-integrity and worth).


Many times I asked myself after the effect (after I stepped out of a reaction) - "But why??? Why the hell did I shift again to the same line of information in the mind? Why despite of me being aware of this tendency of mine to react to a specific event, I am unable to effectively support myself to change and stop my participation with this line of thoughts/information?"


In other times I find my in moments of emotional reaction in a fighting mode with myself where one part of me is seeing clearly the absolutely ridiculousness of continuing participation with the reaction and the other part of me is saying "but, but, but… but I am right to react the way I am" type of thing. Here I was questioning 'why despite of me seeing clearly how I compromise and disempowering myself, I still experience a fight within myself?


Then there are also those times where I stopped participation in real time moment and didn't allow myself to follow the layers of information in the mind but then the next moment came by and very quickly I went into  point of disempowerment where I follow the layered information with a reaction. Here I was asking myself - how is it that in one moment I could stop participating but in the next moment, I so quickly went into the mind, following layers of information within a reaction inside of myself?


With looking at these questions that I asked myself, I found couple of interesting dimensions that contribute to why I was not effectively applying change in a real time moment:

  1. The decision to change was not clear.
  2. I am moving too fast in the mind and not supporting myself to slow down.
  3. There is something behind the scenes that I haven't investigated/seen yet.
  4. The red flags that I placed for myself were incomplete.


In the next post we will have a look at these dimensions and start practically to support ourselves to make a decision to change in real time moment and follow through on this decision.

Apr 21, 2015 | By: A Woman

Self-Empowerment - Practical Living (Part 1) Day 509



In starting to be aware of our preprogram tendencies of reactions for example, it is one thing to be aware of our reactional tendencies but it is a whole different ball game to actually do something about it and practically change our living behavior to one that is of self-integrity and self-worth. What do I mean by that?


Our mind is intertwined with so many layers of information which we stored inside ourselves over the years. Layers of information would be memories, experiences, beliefs, opinions, emotions and feelings that we have attached to internal and/or external stimulations as for instance - pictures and images, smells, voice tonality, body language and so forth. So when an external or internal picture is coming up in our reality, we will have a specific pattern that we will follow, based on the layers of information that we have stored inside of ourselves. For example: Let's say that we see a picture in our reality of luxurious car that we have associated with wealth and success and as we see that car, lines of information is starting to come up in our minds:


-> Seeing luxurious car

->-> Memory of someone saying that if you have this car, it mean that you've become successful in this world

->->-> But oh shame, I don't have this car nor will I have in my future

->->->-> this means that I am a failure

->->->->-> How can I be successful?

->->->->->-> It is not my fault that I am not yet successful, it is the system fault

(or my parents fault, or my employees fault and so on)


->->I am so jealous at the guy that is driving that car

->->-> He must have a lot of money

->->-> He must have lots of women around him

->->-> He must have extraordinary life

->->->-> I am useless

->->->->-> I wish I could have so much money

->->->->->-> My life is going nowhere


->-> I hate my car

->->-> I need to take my car for a service

->->->-> this is going to cost so much money

->->->->-> where will I get the money for the service

->->->->->-> maybe I should take another loan from the bank

->->->->->->-> OMG I don't know what to do


->-> I hope my wife didn't see that car

->->-> because then she will be frustrated with me for not making so much money

->->->-> I hope my wife won't leave me for a rich guy

->->->->-> I must do something special for my wife

->->->->->-> But what will I do? I don't have money to spend on luxury stuff for my wife.


So this is just an example of how one image of a luxurious car can activate chain of thoughts/information inside of ourselves based on the experiences/memories/emotions/feelings that we have associated with that image or picture of for instance, a luxurious car.


What we must realize here is the quantum speed of how information moves in our minds - we may not be aware of all the information that moved in our minds, we may not remember that we actually had these thoughts coming up in that singular moment of when we saw the luxurious car because the information moved so fast inside of ourselves where we shifted so quickly from one set of information to the next set of information. I mean how many times we found ourselves asking ourselves: "How did I start thinking about that topic now? How did I get to think about that now?"


Being aware of these lines of thoughts in its structure like has described above is one of the first steps that one must look at in their process of change. For that, if you haven't already, I suggest investigating and investing in Self Development, Empowerment and Awareness course to assist you with getting to know how your mind has been conditioned to the layers of information that you have layered inside of yourself over the years as well as learning the self-help tools that you are able to apply for yourself to empower yourself to change your conditioned behavioral patterned to a living application of growth and worth. For more information, please visit: Life Skills & Self-Mastery Online Courses


In the next post we will move from being aware of the structural lines of information to practical living in how to assist and support ourselves to actually move from the mind reality that is limited to the layers of information we stored inside of ourselves into the physical reality where possibilities and opportunity of self-empowerment and change actually exists.




Apr 1, 2015 | By: A Woman

How one THOUGHT can influence the course of your Life - Day 508

A point opened up today when talking with a friend about how one single thought, during the formative years, can influence the way we move and direct ourselves in our reality. It is interesting how us grownups, do not take into consideration how our words and deeds influence the people around us and especially children, who takes in the information so literally and make instant decisions about who and what they are accordingly.

This can be anything from - "why are you so slow in doing your homework" where the child now believes that society sees them as slow learners and this is now how they define themselves as who they are; or - "look at this girl, she dance so funny" where the child now realizes that when you place/express yourself in public, you will be judged by others and so you need to really be self-conscious about every move you make to make sure you give no reason for anyone to judge you - Here a potential decision that the child may make is to limit and contain their natural self-expression within the fear of being judged by others; another example - "look at your brother, how successful he is, I am so proud at him" where the child now feels that they must compete with their siblings so that the parent won't be disappointed with them and now the child will decide to suppress their natural skills and only work with what they believe would make their parents happy with them.

I've been looking at my own reality and how through one single statement that was spoken to me when I was a child, I made it so absolute in my mind to a point of suppressing my natural expression in public. I remember as a child how much I enjoyed dancing and I never had issues with dancing around other people, performing and participating in shows until one day where I was watching dancing performance that my friends participated in and my brother was sitting next to me and made a negative remark about one of the girl's dancing ability and in that moment, a thought came up - "what if other people were also judging how I danced". It was the first time that I actually considered the possibility of people judging the way I danced.

From that moment onwards, I developed a high sense of 'self-conscious' thought pattern when I was around other people - I didn't want to dance, I didn't allowed myself to sing - things that I really enjoyed expressing, I believed that I could no longer do/express. Every time the opportunity to sing and specifically dance came up, the memory of that day where my brother judged my friend's dancing ability came up, as a reminder that I must not express myself in public if I don't want people to judge me.

Fascinating enough, when no one was around and I was all alone - I would secretly put on the music and dance. It is quite ridiculous if you think about it - me naturally enjoying to express myself through dancing and yet, allowing one thought memory to influence me to such an extreme where I believed I cannot express myself through dancing when people are around.

Later on in life, going out clubbing with friends became part of my reality but to me.. That was a nightmare - I just couldn't dance - this one thought, about the possibility of people judging me like how my brother judged that girl, prevented me from expressing myself through dancing. My friends pushed me to dance and the more they pushed, the more I resisted dancing because now, if I dared and danced, all the eyes would have been on me and the possibility of me being judged was on the line. The only way I could get myself to dance was by having lots of alcohol so that if anyone judges me, I could blame the alcohol. So for couple of years, I danced and hit the dancing floor lol but, under the influence of alcohol so in essence, I wasn't really expressing myself but allowed the alcohol to take the directive sit of my expression whereas even under the influence of alcohol I was very much self-conscious about my dancing movement and the people around me.

As I grew up of the alcohol and clubbing scene, I decided to stop having alcohol completely and without alcohol, I stopped going clubbing because I believed there was no point to it meaning, I knew I will not dance without alcohol.

Couple of years after, my roommate insisted that I come with her to a party and obviously, I refused but she kept on pushing because she knew how much I enjoyed dancing as she was the only one I shared my secret dancing sessions with and every so often we played music in our house and 'secretly' danced.

With her pushing me to come with her when she went out I eventually did go dance with her one night and with her support, I danced, still very much restricted because now, in my mind, I had to also let go of the connection I created previously between alcohol and dancing. After couple of years and lots of Self-Forgiveness in investigating all the lines of information, emotions, feelings, pictures and memories that I created in my mind, I reached the point where I allowed my natural expression to come through around other people where I no longer have that thought memory from my childhood governing who or how I express myself.

So parents and adults, It took me over 20 years to move past the point from when my brother made that remark to where I am able to fully express myself in dancing. We really have to be aware of the words we speak around the children, to be aware of the influence we have on their life within the decisions that they make, based on what they hear or observe us doing. If you haven't already, I suggest listening to 'Parenting - Perfecting the Human Race' to support you with preventing such moments that can lead to your child making life decisions they would rather live without.