In this blog post, I will continue sharing the story of how and why I had realized that everyone has a potential including myself and how this realization assisted me in changing the course of my life where I am able to walk as a living principle to my utmost potential. Thus, for the context, please read through the previous blog posts:
So, for many years I didn't allow myself to give myself all that I've got - to do something that is worthwhile where I see something that I want and can be good at and just go for it because what I was holding on to was the fear of failure, of disappointing myself and others.
This is also why in terms of career - it was a struggle because on the one hand, I had a desire to be able to provide for myself and my family but on the other hand, the fear of failure and the disbelief in myself restrained me from walking a path to my utmost potential. Therefore, I only went for the jobs that there was no strings attached, no contract, no commitment, where I could walk away the moment the shit hit the fan without having to look back. Obviously, in the world that we live today, it can only last for so long and eventually, I reached the point where I had one of 2 options - to either find a job that will generate a substantial income or go back to live with my parents. Going back to live with my parents was not really an option for me and I forced myself to just go and get a job.
So even then and there - I didn't want to commit to anything in particular, I didn't want to climb up the chain for success, I wanted to do something that I won't feel restrained or limited, I wanted to have a boss who will not ask me to work over time, I wanted to work in an environment of mind like people and most importantly, I wanted to find a job that will allow me to continue carrying all my responsibilities that I started creating for myself within the Desteni group.
I must say, I was lucky because I knew exactly who I wanted to work for - Remember the first 'real' job I had in the world system, the telemarketer for an insurance company? Well, fortunately, a week before I quit that job, a new boss came along and he could see my potential even though I couldn't see it at all. Since that day that he saw me, he didn't gave up on me and he tried to get me to work for him again. For years I didn't want to listen to him but at the same time, I allowed him in my life because there was something genuine about him.
When I made the decision to go out there to the business world again, he was the first person that came up in my mind and the day after I contacted him, I was already working for him as if all these years he's been waiting for me. He knew how to hock me into his business - he knew that for me to be happy (which is how I can utilize the potential he saw in me to make money for him), he must respect my private life, he must respect my time, he must be OK with me not seeing the business as my higher priority, he knew that I must feel 'free' to set my own terms and conditions, my own hours and essentially, my own salary.
I didn't really know what I am walking into, I didn't know what my job actually be, I just knew I must work there for a year before I move to the South Africa. At this point in time, I didn't see me yet, I didn't realize my potential yet but I knew that he saw something in me and I knew I must walk this point.
Will continue in my next post
art work: Lionel Talaro