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I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to participate within the fear of getting pregnant and having a child as my starting point in taking pills and I haven't realized that I do not require fear to be my directive principle but rather, practical common sense in consideration to where I am in my process, whether or not a child would be practical in terms of the support I'm able to gift my child with and so - when seeing in self honesty that having a child is not what is best for all at a specific moment, Pregnancy pills is a practical solution that would stand in alignment to the decision of not having children.
I forgive myself that I've NOT accepted and allowed myself to let the fear go as my directive principle as I believed that having fears is practical instead of seeing, realizing and understanding that being practical and walking my life based on common sense principle doesn't require any fears but simply being here, directly seeing what's here and what would be the best for all application in any given moment.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to still exists in fear when taking pregnancy pills because I know that it's not 100% safe and so, instead of taking the necessary steps to make sure that no pregnancy would emerge, I've allowed hope that everything will be alright while still allowing fears within and as me as well as abdicating my responsibility within the decision of having sex and the consequences that may emerge.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to not consider that by the fact that I have fears of getting pregnant indicate that somewhere, deep inside myself, I'm well aware that the partner I'm with, is inadequate and yet, I've accepted and allowed the desire for sex to take over and act in ways I see that is not best for me and thus, not best for all.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to be willing to have sex with patterns I was not willing to have children with because I was deliberately used them and abused them as well as myself for the sake of fulfilling my desire for sex without willing to accept the consequences of sex as an act of birthing Life into and as the physical and the responsibilities that comes with having sex.
I forgive myself that I've accepted and allowed myself to deliberately not respect myself by willing to have sex with partner that I wasn't willing to have children with as my directive principle back then was Sex and the desire for sex without any consideration as to what is sex, what is sex to me, who I am as sex, why I am as sex, what is the physical purpose of sex and who am I having sex with.
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